I’m a work in progress…

This morning I woke up with the notion of somehow dismissing my MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers) meeting. I love that group, but I was in a “sucky” mood. The last thing I wanted to do is be around a group of women discussing anything. Instead, I wanted to sit and think of a crafty way to let my husband know how he needs to take his husbandry role a bit more serious! He was threading on thin ice… You see, although the past is a great predictor of the future, I honestly believed that I could tell him this in a calm manner and he would be appreciative of my “constructive criticism” (this time around). Why can’t husbands see that God blessed them with wise wives for a reason- to tell them how to navigate through life. We honestly only want what’s best for them.

Nonetheless, as luck would have it (or fate, rather), I had to bring something to this meeting so I needed to go. I went about getting ready with so much on my mind (uh-hum, my husband), and made it to the meeting. Lo and behold, I arrived only to find out that God had taken the liberty of discussing my situation, in great details, with our guest speaker.

Before I continue, Let me just tell you about a situation that occurred yesterday…
As, I wrote about in my Blog, “State of The Union”, we are struggling financially. As a result I went grocery shopping and somehow determined that I would make our groceries last two weeks. To do this, I spent about an hour organizing and dividing the groceries into two parts (week 1 and week 2). By the time I was done with everything, I barely had enough energy to take care of my baby and cook a full meal. So I picked an easy dinner that I thought my husband would enjoy (Since he bought and raved about it in the past). Well when Darling Husband (with sarcasm) got home, he looked at it and snuffed his nose at it. He later put it under the oven and began to cook an alternate dinner for himself. Really! Well, in as calm as a voice as I could, I asked him if the meal wasn’t good enough for him. To which he replied, “No”.

I need not go further. I was livid. He said that was not the brand he bought last time. He didn’t even taste it to see if he liked it! You know that was icing on the cake…
Fast forward to our meeting. The guest speaker (She was amazing, by the way), in her speech, outlined 7 things to do for your husband:

1) Submit. Show respect. Come under their leadership. ( That is so difficult when I do such a great job at running things! 🙂

2) Love him.

3) Pray for him. I am inconsistent with this. (However, I see that God truly honors the prayer of a wife for her husband. I have seen in several occasions how God speaks to my husband about a situation that I prayed about and released to Him.) She even stated that, ‘They probably had great mothers, but no one will pray for our husbands, as much as we will.

4) Be kind! Not everyone is kind. As a child of God we are to be kind to others. Your husband is your husband, but he is also your brother in Christ.

5) Forgive Him! To the extent we forgive, we will be forgiven. Go on and don’t bring it up. Pray about it in your own heart. And then she goes on to say…( as if God whispered in her ear at that moment to share this with me) Cook for your husbands! Plan ahead. Don’t just wing it. (Ha!) Be honest, so he knows what to expect. Ex: Honey, we are really busy this week. Count on me two nights a week. Can we have peanut butter and jelly two nights out of this week?”
(Seriously, can you expect me to believe God didn’t speak with her first about this. As a matter of fact, I’m convinced he brought her there to talk to me! I could even see her glancing, inconspicuously, at me as she spoke.)

6)Make them a priority. Put it on your calendar to spend time daily with your husband. Even if its for 15 mins. The kids should know that you both are off limits during this time. Establishing that Mom and Dad are a unit and have boundaries, to protect their unit, makes the children feel safe and secure.

7) Have daily devotions. Tell God: I love you, I need you and I can’t make it through the day without you. God knows you are busy. He doesn’t expect you to go to the highways and byways. Sometimes all you can do is reinforce God’s love for you that day. God extends his grace to us…

Needless to say, I am happy I went to the meeting. My prayer is for God to take my anger and frustration, so that I can accept and implement these tips in my relationship with my Hubby.

Now if I could just get her to outline 7-10 steps for my husband…

Sorry,

With this I must bid farewell, for there is a meal in the kitchen waiting to be thoughtfully prepared…

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Out of The Mouth of Babes…

“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you can’t have both.”

– Brene Brown

Daughter:    “Mommy, can you read me your story?”

Me:               “Sure I can read you a story. Go pick a book and we’ll read it together”

Daughter:    “No Mommy. Read me your story.”

You see a while ago I told my daughter that I was writing a story and when she gets older she would be able to read it. (Mistake number one is making any promise to a child.)

Me:               “Oh that. Well the story is not ready yet, so…” Before I could finish,

Daughter:     “Why?”

Me:                “Well, you see… Mommy um… Well, I can’t finish it now.

But I will, soon. And then I will read you Mommy’s story.”

I fumbled for the words I felt would quench her curiosity.

Daughter:     “Try.”

Me:                “Try? Try what?” A tad bit annoyed at this point. If only she could

understand the truth.

With elbows bent, palms facing upward, and shoulders elevated, she looked at me with those big brown eyes. As if pleading with me,

Daughter:   “Try. Try to finish it”.

If only it was that simple, I thought. Maybe it was.

Nonetheless I bent down on one knee, looked her in the eyes, “You’re right, my love. Thank you.” I kissed her on the forehead.

She smiled. She liked the sound of that. “I like you Mommy.”

I chuckled. “I luuuv you.”

Off she went to the next order of business.

I watched her walk away…

The nerve of that girl- using my words against me. *Insert hair flip here*

The truth is, I had finished the story. Almost immediately. The words flowed from me as if it had been etched into my memory. Then I hurried online and researched what to do next. I pondered over everything, from hiring a literary agent to self publishing. And then…

Nothing.

I let fear get the best of me. The voices in my head were loud. I’m not a writer. What about grammatical errors. Despite reassurance from a few close people, I doubted my story was good enough. So I sat on it.

I knew she was right. I needed to get out of my comfort zone and just try. Send off the story.

Instead, I let the fear of rejection and fear of failure cripple me.

She was right…

Darn!

If you related to this post, you might enjoy reading this Blog:
<a href=”http://mountainmoverscoaching.wordpress.com/2013/10/17/defeat-resistance-get-more-done

Let’s Budget!

I must admit, this topic of Personal Finances excites me and scares me simultaneously. I’m nervous to discover what I already know…

  • We are living way above our means,
  • I need to find a job with consistent pay, and
  • We need to focus on saving more.

Now before I start feeling dejected, let me get on to some good news…

I’m willing to do what it takes! I am at a point where coasting through our finances is no longer acceptable. We have God and children to answer to.

I am in the process of tweaking our budget sheet on excel. Creating a budget, in my opinion, is one of the first steps to getting our finances in order. We had a budget sheet in the past and somehow lost track of it.

Why? I have no idea, but -No more living life without a guide!

By nature I am a bit overzealous so… I’m giving myself until 10/20/13 to have our budget sheet completed and in use. Oh boy my family is in for a surprise.

We are going on a Debt Diet.  Yay!!!!!

Feel free to leave any tips on budgeting and how you may have turned this area around in your life. If this is a ‘Hot Mess’ area for you too, let me know. Lets work on improving our financial situation together.

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State Of The Union

So I just completed a first draft version of our 2013-2014 Family Budget.  I must admit, I do feel a bit discouraged. My heart is still pounding in my chest as I sit here in complete disbelief. I knew we were not bringing in enough to cover our current expenses, but I never imagined we were in such dire straights!

I’m not even considering expenses to eat out and shop. I’m talking mortgage, utilities, gas and groceries!!!! In actuality, we were outliving our income by even more. Once you factor in the occasional eating out, shopping for kids, hubby funding his hobbies or current business ventures, and my occasional beauty supply binges. Oy vey!

Now that I got that off of my chest… This stresses the importance of my finding a job that allows me to increase our monthly income.

There are a few changes we will be making immediately. Until we are able to cover I monthly expenses:

  • No eating out. Boo Hoo Hoo Hooooo. (This means I will need to cook at least 5-6 times a week.)
  • No more shopping for the kiddos.
  • Start researching and implementing ways to decrease grocery bills.
  • Start researching fun things to do on a budget
  • Implement the use of cash envelope (Cash envelopes are a great way to ensure that we stick to our budget. At the beginning of the week or month, we withdraw the amount we will need for grocery, gas, and other expenses we allow ourselves. We then place all cards in a safe place where we will not access them.  We are held accountable to the money we withdraw. We will not have access to any additional funds, until the next scheduled withdrawal).

I have researched quite a few tips from the internet on how to live on a budget. A few people recommend paying yourself. Once our situation improves, I will definitely start doing that. However, we are in desperate times. As they say, Desperate times, call for desperate measures.

Outlining a course of action does make me feel a bit more hopeful. I’ll let you know how the above strategies are working for us!

Feel free to leave comments on what works for you or just a word of encouragement for this portion of my journey.

* On a positive note, my 3 year old just won 3rd place in a 5 and under art contest. Yay!!!

About Me…

I am a Christian, a wife, a mother, a professional woman, and most importantly a lay person! I am that everyday woman, who wants to be the best she can be. I want to live my best life now, instead of daydreaming what I can and should be. By nature I am caring, outgoing, and responsible. I love security mixed in with a tad bit of spontaneity… Who doesn’t?

Prior to having children, my Dear Hubby and I were doing well. I have a graduate degree and was working in the field of my choice. We were paying our bills on time, paying off loans, and saving money like the best of them. We were going out, traveling and enjoying life. I reached all my goals. The sun shone on our faces daily and the  birds serenaded me in the mornings.

Two children and a mortgage later…

“Oh boy…The mortgage is due. Ah!”

“I think we have enough change in our money jar to grocery shop.”

“Darling Daughter needs white shoes for church.”

“Oh no another party… I need a gift.”

‘What went wrong?’ Well…our bills tripled. Priorities shifted from us to two children.. Sending kids to a decent school isn’t easy.  I work less to be home more with children. And inflation stings like a…

Needless to say, life is different and I am not quite where I dreamed I would be. This is where blogging comes in. My goal for this blog is to improve areas in my life that just aren’t where they should be. I would love to have others join in on my quest to help Encourage, Inspire, and Educate me, others and themselves.

My goal for myself and this blog is to cultivate a place where a group of people can come together, join hands and help each other accomplish their goals.

So let’s do it! Let’s set a list of goals then, Encourage, Inspire, and Educate each other towards reaching those goals…

See you on the journey!